


Darkness in Paradise

by Unicorn_BadAss



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Depression, F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Romance, Self-Harm, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 14:10:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11602260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unicorn_BadAss/pseuds/Unicorn_BadAss
Summary: Disclaimer: I do not own any of the rights to the television show Wynonna Earp or any of the characters from the show. The purpose of this fan-fiction is to entertain other fans while also giving myself a project to work on when hit by a spark of creativity.





	1. Memories Interrupted

Before the incident that broke her inside, Waverly Earp wore her heart on her shoulder to display to everyone. Almost all people under the age of six did, because they thought it was amazing how others understood their feelings with just one glance; as if they had mind-reading powers. The only two people in Waverly's life who never understood (or even cared) about her feelings were her older sister Willa and her father. Every year on her birthday, Waverly noticed how Daddy "magically" disappeared to go work on a job he would just mention that morning, taking Willa along without even acknowledging the youngest Earp's birthday.

But being an open book could only last so long before something closed off a person's emotions from the rest of the world forever. For most people, that something occurs when a family member leaves willingly: but having her mother leave when she was four didn't affect Waverly like it did the rest of her family. Which probably explains why Daddy stopped caring about Waverly completely after waking up the next morning to Waverly playing with her toys in her room while Willa and Wynonna cried in each others arms in the living room.

No. The something that would change Waverly forever occurred one night, in the middle of winter, when Waverly was only six-years-old. Waverly remembers that night, watching it replay countless times in the back of her mind, as if it only happened moments ago.

_Waverly sat at the small kitchen table, opposite of Daddy, pushing the cold food around her plate as if trying to make it disappear. Ever since her mother left, Waverly never got a warm meal unless Wynonna or her Aunt Gus cooked. Most of the time, Daddy made dinner and would forget to make her a plate until after prayer, when Wynonna would silently speak up and mention it. The action only made Daddy more angry because it "took time away from dinner with the other two girls"._

_The silence in the room was first broken when Waverly dropped her fork on the ground trying to set it down on the table, earning a low growl and a stern look from Daddy. Wynonna quickly leaned from her chair to grab the fork after seeing tears form in Waverly's eyes, before setting it on the table and re-focusing her attention to her plate. The silence that was once broken invaded the room again, as the only noises heard were silent breathes and silverware hitting plates. However, the silence didn't last much longer between the Earps when gun shots rang from outside the house._

_Waverly watched as Daddy grabbed Peacemaker, the gun her great-great-grandfather Wyatt Earp used, before pulling Willa towards the window. Wynonna quickly helped move a frozen Waverly into one of the far corners in the living room, away from any window or door. Listening intently over the sound of gun shots, Waverly hears Willa talk about how many of "them" there are before Daddy comments on "them" getting past the border. What Waverly wouldn't realize for years is the only reason "they" got past the border is because of her childhood ignorance and wishful thinking._

_The fearful trance that held Waverly broke as the sound of glass shattering against the floor. All she could do was watch and scream as the men grabbed a fighting Willa before dragging her away. Not even Wynonna's screams could get Waverly to move. Her heart started to sink in her chest knowing she couldn't do anything to save her sister, the same sister who treated her like a mistake. It wasn't until Waverly noticed Peacemaker back in its place on the table and Daddy heading out the door that she moved. Quickly grabbing the gun, Waverly ran back to Wynonna begging her to help Daddy and Willa._

_Waverly's heart finished breaking as one final gun shot rang in her ears. Running to the door, Waverly saw a shocked Wynonna holding Peacemaker in the direction of the men holding Daddy, with a hole in his back. She screamed his name, hoping it would reverse the situation, to bring him back to her, because he was the last piece of her mother she had-_

"Hey Waverly, are you doing okay? You have been wiping that same glass for the last five minutes now with a blank expression," Gus asked curiously. Waverly's head darted upward, eyes meeting worried one's staring back at her. The pain in her fingers finally started setting in, as they were red and turning raw from wiping the same glass. She quickly sat the glass down on the counter, along with the cloth, before turning back to Gus.

"I'm okay Gus. I just got lost in thought," Waverly replied with a smile on her face, trying to convince her Aunt of the massive lie she told. It had been a while since the memory of that night got in the way of her job. But with Wynonna's return to Purgatory after years of absence and the death of their Uncle Curtis, Waverly started seeing that night play out before her eyes more often than not.

Gus looked at Waverly with concern, trying to decide whether or not to believe the youngest Earp, before moving around behind the bar counter. "Whatever you say. But I am going to send you home, as it is close to closing time and you have already been here for nine hours," Gus said. Waverly moved her head up, about to protest, but Gus put her hand in the air to stop the words from coming out of her mouth. "No buts. You have closed every day this week. It is Friday night and you should be doing more than just being a bar-maid. Go have fun for a while."

Sighing in defeat, Waverly nodded her head before clocking out and grabbing her things. She had no friends who would willingly hang out with her unless a massive amount of alcohol was involved. Wynonna was probably out with Deputy Marshall Dolls hunting down revenents after receiving a tip on where a group was staying. And Doc never answered his phone, because he still doesn't understand the "hoodoo voodoo" of technology. The thought of Champ entered her mind for a split second, before being pushed out by the thought of another person.

Waverly reached into her pocket to find her phone, before dialing a number she memorized the first time she saw it. Listening to the ringing of the phone call in her ear, Waverly couldn't help but smile at the thought of chocolate brown eyes staring into hers as red hair cascaded those perfect shoulders.

_"Hey Waves, is everything okay?"_

"Yeah. I uh, I just got off work at Shorty's and was wondering if you would want to... do something. I mean, I don't know when your shift ends and I would hate to intrude on any plans you might have. But Wynonna is out with Dolls and I really don't want to be alone at the Homestead tonight. I thought of a few other people but no one ever wants to be around me without alcohol and I thought you might be different. I'm sorry but-"

_"Waverly, take a breath real quick. I would be more than happy to hang out with you. My shift ends in ten minutes. I will meet you at the Homestead, okay?"_

The sound of the person on the other end of the line laughing calmed Waverly's heart greatly. She couldn't understand what it was about this person that made her so nervous and so open with her hidden emotions, but Waverly didn't mind it at all. Taking a deep breath, Waverly kept the phone up to her ear as she climbed into her Jeep, just listening to the other person breathe for a second.

"That sounds good. I'll make some popcorn while I am waiting for you to arrive. See you soon Officer Haught," Waverly breathed out lightly. Feeling the other person smile through the phone, Waverly started her Jeep and drove in the direction of the Homestead.

_"How many times do I have to tell you Waverly, just call me Nicole. Officer Haught sounds too formal."_


	2. A Dive Into the Past

The drive back to the Homestead filled Waverly's head and heart with a crippling silence. She tried listening to the radio, but whatever higher power existed must have hated her because every song that came on had been about losing someone or feeling as though something was missing from their life. Any other time, Waverly wouldn't have minded the music or the meaning behind the lyrics. But with Wynonna back and those memories invading her sanity, she couldn't handle the burning feeling in her chest. Some days, Waverly would sit in her room with her back against the door, clawing at her chest until it left burning red lines to replace the pain inside.

Listening to the sound of gravel under her tires, Waverly got out of the Jeep and turned her attention to the Homestead. The light on the front porch was on, which they always kept on in order to sway intruders from stepping on their land. But just as fast as she saw the light on the porch, Waverly saw that night happening as if she watched it from the outside. She saw "them" break into the window before grabbing Willa, dragging her off into the distance. The sound of a gun shot from Peacemaker filled her ears as if it really happened instead of being a memory. The sight of the bullet leaving the other side of Daddy's chest before going into her own caused all air to leave Waverly's lungs.

Falling to the ground, gasping for air, Waverly felt tears burn down her cheeks as cold snow hit her bare hands. Her vision started going blurry in the middle as the edge began fading black. This wasn't the first time a panic attack took over Waverly's entire being, but it was the first one since the last time Wynonna left Purgatory. So the anxiety hit Waverly with the fullest amount of force possible. _Please just breathe Waverly. Keep yourself together and don't have a panic attack in the middle of your driveway... Focus on something to stop this because Officer Haught is going to be here soon..._

The thought of the young Officer caused Waverly's lungs to start slowing working again, but not quite normal. She was able to stand up slowly, trying to balance herself as the blurred vision still had yet to go away. Waverly managed to stumble through the front door, not noticing how she left it wide open, before darting up the stairs towards her room. Being in her room with the doors shut seemed to help because Waverly felt as though it closed herself off from the rest of the world. All the voices and fears running through her head would stop the moment she heard the clicking of her door closing.

A small smile appeared on Waverly's face as her door came to view. _Just a few more steps Waverly. You can do this, just keep pushing forward._ Reaching her hand out to the door knob, Waverly took a deep breath in before opening her door. But nothing could prepare her for the person she thought she saw sitting on her bed. With a smirk on his face and his finger pointing in her direction, Bobo Del Ray caught Waverly's attention as he sat on the edge. Her heart made one large beat in her chest, enough to cause pain, before feeling as though it stopped completely.

But just as soon as Waverly could comprehend it was Bobo on her bed, he vanished as if he was never there to begin with. Still on the verge of passing out from the panic attack, Waverly ran out of her room to the bathroom down the hall with only one thought it her mind. The only thing that could pull her out of this panic attack had been the one thing Waverly promised herself she would never do again. Especially after the time Wynonna found her on the verge of saying goodbye.

_Waverly had just turned 16 a week before and just started her junior year of high-school early that fall. Up until then, Waverly managed to go unnoticed... at least for the most part. Champ, now a senior, asked Waverly to prom the year before and the two had been dating ever since. Although Waverly saw Champ as nothing more than a horny pig, he did give her something she had wanted since she was six: an opportunity to get of Wynonna's shadow. Instead of being called the weird Earp girl, people started seeing Waverly as Champ's girlfriend._

_Waverly was one step closer to being seen as just Waverly, instead of being associated with someone else or someone's past. So she found small comfort in Champ's presence. There were rumors going around school and the rest of Purgatory about Champ using Waverly as a cover up for his sexual tendencies with other girls in the town. But to Waverly, those rumors were just that: rumors. She didn't want to dwell on the fact that Champ has been cheating on her from the moment he asked her to prom. Waverly had finally gotten the normality she wished for daily and she was not quite ready to give it up._

_But as Waverly experienced in the past, you can always have too much of a good thing before someone corrupts it for their own benefit. Walking through the hallway of the high-school, Waverly kept her head low as she was fighting a massive headache that started the moment she woke up. The previous night, Champ took her to a party on the outskirts of town hosted by one of the popular seniors. Waverly knew alcohol would be involved, but she didn't imagine it would be to the extent it was._

_Even though her head was low, she could still hear the whispers coming from the other students in the halls and she still felt every pair of eyes stare at her as she passed. "Have you seen the photo of her? No wonder Champ has been bragging all day." "I would totally get some action if I had the courage to talk to her." "I don't know what the big deal about the Earp girl is. I have seen girls with way better bodies and way better parts than hers." All those whispers and more fueled the anger that was already inside Waverly._

_Unfortunately, Waverly couldn't remember anything from her previous night at the party or anything that could have possibly happened afterwards. The last clear memory that she could recall was accepting a drink from Champ. He had a smile on his face that gave Waverly a bad feeling, but when she noticed all the people looking at her, she grabbed the cup from Champ's hand and drank it all in one go. After that, Waverly couldn't recall a single word she said or an action she did._

_Turning down another hall, Waverly saw Champ looking at his phone, surrounded by a group of hollering guys. She wanted to know what had happened and expected Champ to know because he had to have been with her the whole night. But her thoughts were cut off when the group of guys started yelling her name, including Champ._

_"What the hell happened last night Champ? People have been staring at me all day and whispering things. Could someone please explain?" Waverly asked._

_"Damn Champ! You got her so good she doesn't even remember it!" One of the guys gave Champ a high five before turning back to Waverly. "I saw the picture he took of you. I was wondering if you would want to come to my house later so I can show you how a real man feels."_

_Waverly's mouth dropped open a little as she turned her attention to Champ, who looked down towards the ground as if someone killed his ego. In that moment, Waverly made sense of everything happening to her this morning. All the whispers in the halls, all the people staring at her back side, boys making horrible gestures towards her. Waverly finally figured out what Champ had taken from her last night, and she would never be able to feel the same about herself again._

_"I would say fuck you Champ, but I don't think I want to," Waverly spat in his direction before running down the rest of the hall towards the exit. Just barely over the happy hollering of the group of guys, Waverly heard Champ yelling for her. Champ begging Waverly to stop and let him explain everything before she makes a rash decision. But Waverly ignored his desperate attempts to save himself._

_Tears fell from Waverly's eyes in a steady pool the entire time she ran back to the Homestead. Gus stayed home that day, claiming to have fall cleaning to do, and Waverly didn't want to hear a lecture from her Aunt about leaving school without notice. With no where else to go in order to be alone, Waverly continued running in the direction of broken memories. The first time being back to that house in years and Waverly would be just as upset as the last time she was there._

_Opening the door, Waverly ran straight to the bathroom, the urgent need to throw up the contents of her stomach taking over. Leaning over the toilet, Waverly let out a mixture of cries, tears, and stomach contents for a good five minutes before standing up in front of the mirror. Her hair was a mess from the run over and from the adventure with the toilet only moments ago. Bloodshot, puffy eyes stared back from the mirror, begging Waverly to make the pain stop._

_"I can't keep this act up anymore. All these years of trying to fit in and get out of others' shadows have drained me. I'm so sorry Daddy, I'm sorry Willa, I just can't do it anymore," Waverly silently confessed as her head dropped towards the floor. Taking deep breaths, Waverly grabbed her bag before pulling out the pill bottle and the water bottle she had been saving for this moment. Without any hesitation, Waverly opened the pill bottle and poured the contents into her mouth followed by large gulps of water. Trying to get down multiple pills had felt better to Waverly than dealing with reality._

_As more tears began to fall from her eyes, Waverly quickly grabbed a sticky note and a pen from her bag. "I will tell Daddy and Willa hi for you" were the only words Waverly managed to get on the paper before sticking it to the mirror. Waverly turned in the direction of the bathtub, a small broken smile on her face, as she stepped in fully clothed. Turning the water to the hottest temperature it would go, Waverly screamed as the water hit her body while she closed the shower drain. Now all she had to do was wait._


	3. Race to the Finish

Staring into the abyss of words on the page, Nicole felt her eyes start to get heavy from lack of sleep and lack of energy to do anything. Even after her third cup of the god-awful coffee the station had, Nicole still couldn't fight the weight pulling her eye lids shut. Being the rookie Officer in Purgatory, Nedley had put her on desk duty for the first month of her starting work, in order for Nicole to "earn the right to go on patrol". However, after seeing Nicole's amazing skills at paperwork, organization, and working with the citizens, Nedley more-often-than-not would keep Nicole on desk duty during the uneventful weeks.

Smacking herself on the face in hopes of staying awake a little longer, Nicole forced herself through the last report on her desk without messing things up noticeably. The clock on her phone showed she still had about twenty more minutes to her shift, which meant twenty minutes of resting her eyes before Nicole would attempt to go home. Nicole got up from her chair long enough to put the last report in its respective spot among the files before folding her coat to use as a pillow on her desk. More times than she could remember, Nicole would fall asleep on just her arms, only to wake up to sweating skin and pressure pain from where her head rested.

Nicole closed her eyes before her head even reached the make-shift pillow on her desk, drifting off into a comfortable rest. Once in that small dream state where a person still recalls everything happening around them but is still dreaming, Nicole saw deep hazel eyes before they disappeared for a second. _Waverly... What I wouldn't do to be with you right now..._ Even in her rest, Nicole felt a small smile form on her lips at the thought of the youngest Earp. Growing up in a small town, Nicole had experience in the area of falling for a straight girl; understanding the outcome of the situation almost never turned out to be good. But her heart stopped listening to her head the moment her eyes landed on Waverly in Shorty's.

If soulmates existed, Nicole was almost positive Waverly Earp had to be the person meant for her. Normally, Nicole could keep her cool and not get nervous around attractive women. But when she walked through the door of Shorty's, her courage and calm walked right back out the door holding up middle fingers. But that didn't stop Nicole from trying to flirt with the other woman, hoping Waverly felt the same itch in her heart as Nicole was experiencing. Nicole was hoping Waverly felt the same infinite feeling inside as Nicole did after she helped the girl removed her beer-soaked shirt.

Nicole's hopes were fueled even more a few weeks later, when she found out Waverly broke up with her "boy-man" Champ. She knew she should never be excited about someone breaking up with the person they have been with for years, but Nicole silently celebrated in her apartment later that night; dancing in the kitchen with her cat (who ran to a different room the first moment it could). That same night, Nicole had several different dreams, all including the possible futures she would have with Waverly Earp.

The sound of a ringtone broke Nicole's concentration on those hazel eyes in her head, and altogether broke her effort in trying to sleep. Grabbing her phone quickly, not wanting to miss the chance to yell at whoever woke her up, Nicole instantly smiled and felt her heart pick up speed when she saw the name appearing on her screen. _But with it being this late, is she okay? I don't want to sound to worried when I answer but I swear-to-god if Waverly is in trouble... Just calm down Nicole..._

"Hey Waves, is everything okay?" Nicole asked into the phone once she picked up. The sound of a deep breath filled her ears and instantly calmed her heart, knowing Waverly was at least breathing.

_"_ _Yeah. I uh, I just got off work at Shorty's and was wondering if you would want to... do something. I mean, I don't know when your shift ends and I would hate to intrude on any plans you might have. But Wynonna is out with Dolls and I really don't want to be alone at the Homestead tonight. I thought of a few other people but no one ever wants to be around me without alcohol and I thought you might be different. I'm sorry but-"_

"Waverly, take a breath real quick. I would be more than happy to hang out with you. My shift ends in ten minutes. I will meet you at the Homestead, okay?" Nicole lightly laughed at Waverly's rambling. It was one of her favorite things about the youngest Earp. Nicole could sit for hours, listening to Waverly ramble about topics she was passionate about, as long as it would put a smile on Waverly's face.

_"_ _That sounds good. I'll make some popcorn while I am waiting for you to arrive. See you soon Officer Haught."_

"How many times do I have to tell you Waverly, just call me Nicole. Officer Haught sounds too formal," Nicole replied with a smile before hang up her phone. When anyone else referred to her by the formal terms, Nicole didn't acknowledge it the same way she did when Waverly said it. The way Waverly managed to make it sound caused Nicole's knees to go weak every time. Her heart would start to flutter along with the butterflies in her stomach before her attention would be taken by something other than Waverly.

Standing up from her desk, Nicole gathered her items and made sure her desk had been locked down correctly. She quickly clocked out with her time card, a full ten minutes early than planned, before walking outside in the direction of her car. With the extra few minutes, Nicole planned on stopping by her apartment in order to change into a comfortable set of clothes and grab the gift she had for Waverly. Nicole felt her cheeks start to warm as she thought about the plan she made in order to ask Waverly on a date.

Growing up in a small town also meant manners and values about dating and related topics were heavily instilled. Both her mother and father had old fashioned beliefs when it came to going on a proper date with someone instead of jumping right in like many people do in today's society. But with old fashioned values, Nicole feared her parents would also belief that homosexuality was a sin worthy of damnation. However, when the 16-year-old version of Nicole finally told her parents about the truth value of her sexuality, she watched as her father laughed.

_"You couldn't wait one more week to tell us?! I was excited about getting your father to give me 50 dollars so I could go buy a new dress. Now, I have to give him 50 dollars to help his lantern obsession," Nicole's mother said with a small smile. Nicole stood in the living room of her home, still in shock of her parents' reaction._

_"Are you serious? You guys bet money on when I would tell you I was gay?" Nicole asked in disbelief._

_"Yeah. Did you really think you were being subtle about this? I mean, you asked for a **Unicorn** themed sweet 16 party for-crying-out-loud," her father replied while counting the money his wife just handed over with a sigh in her eyes. Nicole felt tears start to form in her eyes, as this was definitely not the reaction she expected. She had a speech prepared to go against her parents going against her feelings, not a speech prepared to acknowledge being accepted._

Nicole smiled as she started her car, thinking of how her father actually used the 50 dollars to buy her almost everything rainbow he could afford. She even received a shirt with the caption "Say Hey if you're Gay" on it. Not many people greeted Nicole with the word "Hey" after the first time she wore the shirt in public.

Her thoughts were interrupted again by the sound of her phone ringing, but this time Nicole knew exactly who was calling. She had set this ringtone specific for this person knowing how much trouble they usually found themselves in.

"Hey Wynonna, are you okay? Why do you sound like you are running-"

_"Nicole, have you heard from Waverly lately?"_

Worried about the tone in Wynonna's voice, Nicole abandoned her original plan to go to her apartment before starting her car and driving in the direction of the Earp Homestead. "Yeah, she just called me a few minutes ago asking me to meet her at the Homestead. She said something about not wanting to be alone tonight after I told her my shift ended in ten minutes. What is going on?"

_"Shit! I am running to the Homestead as fast as I can. Stupid-fucking-car ran out of gas a mile out. How fast can you get there?"_

Nicole pushed her foot down on the gas petal, definitely going over the speed limit. But she didn't care. Something was wrong with Waverly and Nicole needed to get there. "I will be there in five minutes. Seriously Wynonna, what the hell is going on?!"

_"Gus called me worried about her. Apparently she blanked out during work and ended up washing the same glass for five minutes. Gus said Waverly had that same look in the eyes as she did when..."_

"When she what Wynonna?"

_"When she first tried to kill herself."_


	4. Cracking at the Hands of Death

Jumping out of her car without turning off the engine, Nicole ran as fast as she could to the front door. The words Wynonna said over the phone were still ringing in her ears, playing on repeat as if she was in a horror film. _When she first tried to kill herself..._ How could Nicole not have known this about Waverly? Now that she thought about it, all the signs of a suicide attempt survivor were right in front of her, pointing to the youngest Earp. She just never paid close enough attention or associated Waverly with that kind of past.

The more Nicole thought about the signs, the more she wanted to kick herself. Waverly always wore something over her arms, no matter what the temperature had been outside. Waverly would avoid using sharp things, making excuses as to why she wouldn't use the scissors or the stapler at the station. Waverly would even space out during the day sometimes, her eyes glazing over as if she wasn't even in the room anymore.

"Waverly?! Come on baby please answer me!" Nicole yelled as she ran through the wide-open front door. Ripping off her jacket in order to gain more mobility, Nicole continued yelling for Waverly as she ran through the entire first floor of the house. When Nicole had yet to hear a response from the youngest Earp, panic and adrenaline filled her body as she made her way to the stairs. _Please don't let me be too late. Please please please let her be somewhere in here, still breathing and still having a heart beating in her chest. Please don't take her from me just yet._

The sound of water splashing underneath her feet caused Nicole to quickly look down at the steps, noticing a steady stream of water gently falling down each one. Before another though could cause hesitation in her body, Nicole sprinted up the stairs (careful not to slip on the water) before turning in the direction of the bathroom. A small sound of water running grew to be louder with each step Nicole took towards the bathroom. _Maybe she just fell asleep in the tub and forget to turn off the water. Please let that be the case._

"Nicole are you here?!" Wynonna yelled from the first floor, almost stopping Nicole's movement to the bathroom.

"Bathroom now Wynonna! Be careful on the stairs!" Nicole yelled in response as she reached the bathroom door. Grabbing the doorknob, Nicole silently begged for the door to be unlocked. But when the door wouldn't move at all, tears starting forming in her eyes. "Waverly! Please open the door!" Nicole pleaded as she banged on the door as hard as she could. The police academy had trained her on how to kick a door down, but Nicole didn't want this door to be her first one she kicked down outside of training.

Wynonna's hurried footsteps came closer until Nicole saw the other Earp standing beside her at the bathroom door. Taking only a second to look at Wynonna, Nicole saw her cheeks were stained with tears and messed up make-up. She had never seen Wynonna this vulnerable during the entire time they had known each other, but it was a side of Wynonna that Nicole feared immediately. Wynonna had been banging on the bathroom door in a similar manner to the way Nicole had been earlier, before looking over at the Officer.

Knowing what she needed to do, Nicole took a deep breath and a step back away from the door before putting as much strength into her leg as she kicked at the door. When the first kick didn't open the door, Nicole screamed in frustration before backing up to try opening the door again. All the anger, fear, and worry in her body turned into strength; the second attempt at kicking the door in ended up with Nicole falling into the bathroom as the door swung open due to the force of her leg.

Time stopped when Nicole looked up to the bathtub, finding red stained water pouring from the overflowed tub. Still on the ground, Nicole couldn't see Waverly's head until Wynonna rushed past her and pulled the younger Earp out of the water. Both women ignored how the temperature of the water burnt their own skin, as the only thing they could focus on was Waverly. The same Waverly, who earlier this week, was smiling at both of them as they sat at Shorty's enjoying a drink to celebrate sending another revenent to hell. The same Waverly, who now had long cuts down her arms bright against her skin, which was extremely red due to the water.

"Nicole! I don't know CPR. Please get over here and try to save our girl while I find bandages and call an ambulance!" Wynonna yelled. Nicole almost didn't register Wynonna yelling, as the sight of Waverly was enough to make her forget everything. The only thing that kept Nicole attached to reality had been the sight of Nicole's bracelet on Waverly's wrist. Waverly had "stolen" that bracelet when the two hung out for the first time since meeting at Shorty's. Nicole remembered how Waverly commented on "not having time to accessorize" before meeting at the coffee shop, to which Nicole replied by giving Waverly her bracelet.

Dropping to the floor, Nicole began feeling for a pulse the same time Wynonna ran out of the bathroom. _No pulse... It has to be here... Come on!_ Nicole quickly started chest compression on Waverly, feeling the smaller girl's ribs crack underneath the force of her hands. Of all the things the police academy trained her for, Nicole was not ready to feel herself break the bones of another person while trying to save their life. Nor was she ready to have her lips against Waverly's for the purpose of giving air to the dying woman.

None of that mattered to Nicole in that moment however, as she continued performing CPR on Waverly for another few minutes. In those few minutes, Wynonna returned while on the phone with 9-1-1, saying things Nicole didn't bother paying attention to. Wynonna had also started bandaging up Waverly's arms, in hopes of slowing the blood flow. Nicole just continued doing chest compression on Waverly as more ribs cracked under her hands and tried breathing into Waverly's lungs.

When seconds turned to minutes, Nicole was ready to stop and admit the one thing she would never want any one to admit in their life. She was ready to admit she couldn't save the love of her life. Nicole understood how early it was in their relationship to be calling Waverly that, but it was the one thing she was certain of in this moment. Waverly Earp, the girl with the smile that brought Nicole to her knees, was the love of her life and Nicole was losing her. Not even the shrill sound of Wynonna's cries broke through the barrier Nicole started building inside.

But, when both women heard a silent cough from Waverly, they both looked at each other before jumping back in order to give Waverly a little room. Staring at the younger Earp, Nicole watched silently with tears in her eyes as Waverly started moving a little and crying out in pain. She wanted to jump back down to Waverly, but Wynonna beat her to it by picking Waverly up gently into her arms before starting to head out the bathroom door. Nicole stood in the bathroom, unable to move her feet, as the hope of Waverly surviving rose with each cough she heard from Waverly.

The in-coming sound of sirens caused Nicole's trance to be broken as she ran down the stairs to find Wynonna racing out the front door with Waverly in order to meet the paramedics. Nicole ran right behind Wynonna, staring at Waverly the entire time; watching her chest rise and fall slightly while her eyes remained close. _God Waverly, I am so sorry... I... Please just be okay. I can't lose you too..._

"Nicole, do you think you can drive us to the hospital so we can keep up with the ambulance? I am in no condition to drive right now but I need to be with her," Wynonna pleaded. Nicole simply nodded her head as both women ran towards her still-running car. Backing out of the Earp Homestead, Nicole looked over at Wynonna who started breaking inside just as much as she was.


	5. The Landing After the Fall

This wasn't Nicole's first experience with sitting in an uncomfortable hospital chair while waiting for one of the doctors to give her an update on the reason she was there. There were many times when she was younger where Nicole had to wait in the hospital because one of her siblings got hurt doing something stupid. Or even when Nicole was the one being looked at because her siblings persuaded her to join their acts of ignorance. But sitting in the hospital, waiting for the news on whether you successfully saved the love of your life is different than waiting to hear the doctor say your siblings are Dare-Devils.

Holding her head low in her hands, staring off into the distance of the floor, Nicole tried to focus on something in order to keep all her thoughts from racing around her head. When they arrived at the hospital, only seconds behind the ambulance, a few different nurses offered to help Wynonna and Nicole clean the blood off their bodies. Up until that point, Nicole hadn't noticed the red stains which were starting to turn brown. She had been so worried about Waverly to the point Nicole didn't bother worrying about herself.

_"Come on Nicole, we need to clean ourselves up. This is not what Waverly would want to see when she wakes up," Wynonna pleaded with the Officer. But Nicole just glared down at her hands, taking in the sight of Waverly's blood coating her fingers. The feeling of Waverly's ribs cracking under the pressure of her hands started replaying in her mind as Nicole began trying to furiously scratch the blood off herself._

_"It won't come off... No no no no it won't come off!" Nicole started yelling as she backed into a wall, still scratching away at her hands. Barely able to make out the sound of the nurse calling for help, Nicole put her hands over her ears as she slid down the wall to a seated position. Wynonna quickly knelt down next to her, afraid to make a wrong move and cause the panic attack to get worse._

_"Nicole, please just breathe. We will get the blood off but I need you to focus on me and calm down," Wynonna spoke softly as her hands gently held Nicole's cheeks in order to get the Officer to look at her. Although they weren't the same hazel eyes Nicole wished she could be looking into, the sight of Wynonna and knowing she cared did help Nicole calm down a little bit. She closed her eyes tight before taking a few deep breaths, attempting to stand up._

_One of the nurses brought over a wheelchair, to which Nicole protested using until Wynonna forced the Officer to sit down. Nicole felt herself being moved to a different room in the hospital, but her head and heart remained on the Homestead. She wanted to go back, to see Waverly smiling at her before she went off on patrol. Nicole wanted to watch as Waverly's eyes lit up when Nicole interrupted a Black Badge meeting because of something unusual coming across the wire. Nicole just wanted-_

"Waverly Earp?" Nicole's head shot up at the mention of the youngest Earp, before looking over at Wynonna. Wynonna's eyes held the same fear and hope, as in Nicole's eyes, about what the doctor would tell them. Hours passed in the hospital waiting room filled with a deafening silence and the cries of other families. Those cries sometimes being filled with relief, knowing their loved one would make it through the night, while others were filled with regret, knowing this would be their last chance to say goodbye.

Both women quickly stood up, grabbing each other's hand for a small sense of stability, as their hearts began racing within their chests. Once they reached the doctor, he looked down at his clipboard, flipping through a couple of papers to search for the correct information.

"So, Waverly is currently awake, but in critical condition. She suffered first degree burns on her entire body, due to the hot water. But with some special lotion and care, her skin should heal in no time," the doctor began explaining. However, the only part Nicole could focus on was Waverly had been in critical condition. "The cuts on her arms were not as severe as we expected. But I believe that is because Waverly already started feeling the effects of the pills she ingested and couldn't cut her arms the way she wanted. Which leads me to the part I am worried about. With all the pills Waverly ingested and everything we had to pump out, her stomach is extremely scratched up and is going to scar. This is the critical condition part."

"What will it do to Waverly? Is she going to make it through the night? Can we go back to see her yet?" Nicole started asking these questions as tears cascaded her face. Wynonna gently squeezed Nicole's hand, a gentle reassurance she was not alone and neither was Waverly.

"She won't be able to eat for a while. So all her nutrients for about a week or two are going to have to be given by I.V. Our only concern is if her stomach doesn't heal properly, Waverly will never be able to eat again," the doctor finished explaining. Both women just nodded their heads, wanting to get back to Waverly as soon as possible. Following closely behind the doctor, Nicole and Wynonna didn't let go of each other's hands in fear of falling over from all the news.

The walk back to Waverly's room was quiet, but Nicole's mind had been running a mile-a-minute trying to figure out what she would even say to Waverly. Of course Nicole was upset with Waverly about the whole situation, because of obvious reasons. However, Nicole knew she couldn't be upset with Waverly in fear of making the situation worse and in fear of losing her forever. Nicole had already almost lost the youngest Earp once in the past twelve hours, she wasn't going to risk it almost happening again.

"Unfortunately I can only allow one person to go in the room at a time. So I will let you two talk about that," the doctor said before heading in a different direction down the hallway. Neither Nicole nor Wynonna had to talk about who was going in first. So Nicole sat down in the chair outside the door and watched hopelessly as Wynonna slowly opened the door to Waverly's room with tears in her eyes. She listened carefully, hoping to hear the sound of Waverly's voice before the door closed behind Wynonna, but that voice never filled her ears.

However, once Nicole heard the door close, exhaustion filled her entire body without hesitation. Already feeling tired towards the end of her shift at the station, then dealing with the loss of adrenaline from trying to save Waverly, Nicole was ready to close her eyes for hours. She tried fighting the weight pulling at her eye lids, not wanting to miss when Wynonna came back out of the room. But after seconds turned to minutes, and those minutes turned into an hour, Nicole forfeited the fight and closed her eyes.

All Nicole could see was utter darkness. No dreams or horrifying nightmares invaded her mind as she slept in the hospital chair. It had been comforting being able to sleep without a reminder of her day, but that didn't stop Nicole from worrying. She still felt her heart race in her chest, her lungs taking in short, quickened breaths, and her hands clenching shut.

"Nicole... Hey, wake up," Wynonna said while tapping Nicole on her shoulder. Nicole slowly moved her head up, groaning from the pain forming in her neck. Once she caught sight of who had woke her up, Nicole felt her eyes go wide and started opening her mouth to ask several questions about Waverly. "She is going to be okay Nicole... but she doesn't quite look like our Waverly with the burns on her skin, or the bandages on her arms. I talked to her about everything and she is going to be fine."

"I am so sorry I didn't get to the Homestead faster Wynonna. Maybe if I did Waverly wouldn't have to be here. Maybe I could have-"

"Don't you dare say sorry Haught. Just be glad we were able to bring her back to us," Wynonna replied with a small smile on her lips. Nicole nodded her head as she used her sleeve to wipe away the tears in her eyes. "I am going to get some coffee. Waverly wants to see you."


	6. Rediscovering Paradise

Waverly stared out the small window on the hospital door, silently watching as Nicole talked with Wynonna. Her heart beat started picking up pace, causing her to wince at the small pain, when she couldn't read the words on Nicole's lips. _Is she mad at me? Will she ever want to talk to me again? The doctor said I have cracked ribs from someone performing CPR... Was it Nicole who brought me back?_ All those questions and more flooded Waverly's train-of-thought as she continued looking out the window.

When Wynonna finally left the view of the window, Waverly knew it was time to face this fear and talk to Nicole about everything. And she meant everything. Waverly was going to tell Nicole about the mysterious history that surrounded her last name. She would tell Nicole about the night Willa and Daddy were taken from her life, along with a fraction of her sanity. But most importantly, Waverly was finally ready to tell someone about that night Champ took everything from her before she tried to return the favor.

The door knob turned slowly, opening the door a fraction of the way, enough so Waverly could hear more things than were just in her room. Waverly heard the sharp intake of a breath coming from Nicole before watching as the door opened the rest of the way. Tears started to build up in Waverly's eyes when she could see the full extent of how Nicole was doing. The Officer's hair frizzed out in several different directions while dried tears were painted down her cheeks. Nicole's shirt held different areas of rusting brown stains, along with a few spots on her pants.

However, Waverly wasn't the only person trying to adjust to the condition of the other person in the room. Once Nicole had stepped into the room and shut the door, she turned around to fully comprehend what Waverly looked like. Just as Wynonna said, her skin was a bright shade of red and slightly swollen. Waverly's arms were bandaged with white gauze, standing out in great contrast to her skin tone. _So many wires..._ Nicole's eyes followed all the wires and small tubes running from a machine to Waverly, who look beautifully innocent in the hospital bed.

"Waverly... I..." Nicole couldn't find the words desperately trying to escape her throat. All she wanted to do was run over to the girl in the hospital bed and hold her tight. Nicole wanted to feel Waverly's heart beat, worried this all might be a dream. She wanted to run her fingers through Waverly's long / soft hair before gently capturing the other girl's lips in an emotion kiss. But her feet wouldn't move.

"Nicole... I am so sorry about all of this... Things have been extremely stressful for me lately and when I got home I started having a large panic attack. When I got inside, everything made the anxiety in my heart amplify and I needed a way for it all to stop. You probably hate me now, which I understand. But Nicole-"

"Waverly, baby, please take a breath before you pass out from rambling," Nicole said softly as her feet started working again. Moving carefully across the distance from the door to Waverly, Nicole dropped her coat to the ground. She watched as Waverly moved over in the bed, wincing in pain with each small movement, before Waverly motioned for Nicole to sit down with her.

Waverly had seen this action in romance movies and television shows, always wanting someone to love her enough to where they would sit down in the hospital bed with them. So when Nicole gently sat down on the bed, taking off her shoes before putting her feet up on the bed, Waverly couldn't help but allow a smile to appear on her lips. Before Nicole had the chance to say another word, Waverly buried herself into the Officer's side, gripping onto part of her shirt as though it was the last thing keeping her alive.

Before hesitating any longer, Waverly softly spoke as she began to explain everything to Nicole. Not moving once to look into the Officer's eyes, Waverly fought against the anxiety of the memories in order to tell Nicole about her past. Nicole didn't move, trying to understand every word coming from Waverly, finally piecing all the puzzle pieces together. Nicole felt her heart break each time Waverly had to pause and compose herself, understanding the horrifying feeling certain memories could cause.

A full thirty minutes passed before Waverly finished telling Nicole about her complicated history. Then another five minutes flew by before either one of the women said a word. Waverly had been trying to prepare herself for any and all possible responses, some of them more painful than others. Nicole, on the other hand, was trying to connect the words in her head without hurting Waverly anymore than she was.

"Waverly, I... I have no idea where to even begin right now. For you to have to go through all of that alone, whether it was because you pushed yourself away or others distanced themselves... it just hurts me knowing everything you went through before I could be in the picture to help. And I didn't even notice all the signs of... this... you were giving off," Nicole started explaining. When she felt Waverly's hand gently touch her cheek, Nicole closed her eyes and leaned into the embrace.

Wiping away one of the stray tears gliding down Nicole's face, Waverly offered her an innocent smile. Nicole gave back the same small smile before leaning forward so their foreheads were touching. For a moment, while sitting with Nicole in a comfortable silence, Waverly forgot all the hardships she had ever faced in life. She listened carefully to each breath Nicole took in, each sigh in relief Nicole let out, and each thud from her heart. Waverly finally felt as though someone saw her as just Waverly.

"We really need to talk more about this, but I am having a hard time keeping my lips off yours," Waverly breathed out, breaking the silence. Nicole lightly laughed at Waverly's comment while shifting in the hospital bed to where she could see the other woman better. For the first time since Nicole saw Waverly in Shorty's, Nicole saw the sparkle Waverly had in her eyes.

"Who says you have too," Nicole replied silently as a smirk formed on her lips. Waverly mimicked Nicole's smirk while her hands made their way to the back of Nicole's neck. Gently pulling the Officer closer, Waverly allowed her eyes to flutter closed while the space between them closed. Nicole, however, kept her eyes open until the last possible moment, enjoying the sight of Waverly in front of her.

When their lips finally connected (after what felt like an eternity), Nicole quietly hummed against Waverly. Waverly responded by smiling against Nicole's lips, her hands still gently clasped around her neck. She loved how well their lips seemed to fit together, in both a physical and emotional sense. Every time Waverly would kiss Nicole, even if just for a second, fireworks erupted in her stomach before exploding again in her head.

As time passed, the kiss remained as emotional as it had been when they started it. Nicole's hands ended up running gently through Waverly's hair, occasionally getting caught in tangles. Neither woman noticed the door slowly opening to reveal Wynonna standing in the door way with two coffees, a bag of chips, and a package of Twizzlers in her hands. Looking up, Wynonna's mouth dropped open at the sight of her baby sister and Officer Haughtpants making out in the hospital bed.

"Not what I expected to see! Haughtpants! Come get your coffee and Twizzlers before I through them at your head!"


	7. From Hurt to Home

Nicole kept her eyes on the long winding road, wind blowing in her hair from the open window, and the distant sound of music filling her ears. She wasn't really paying attention to any of those things, as the thoughts of a single person kept her mind preoccupied. Five months had passed since Nicole found Waverly in the bathroom, since she performed C.P.R. and felt ribs cracking below the pressure of her hands. Five months flew by, leaving Nicole in the middle of an extremely hot day in May, on the road with only one place in mind.

The first month after Nicole and Wynonna managed to save Waverly from her inner demons was filled with constant trips to the hospital. Not only did the Doctors want to keep Waverly to make sure her stomach healed properly, but they also needed to complete psychological evaluations due to the suicide attempt. Both Nedley and Wynonna believed Waverly needed Nicole during each step of the process, much to Nicole's protest, which is how she ended up sleeping in an uncomfortable hospital chair most nights.

_Nicole walked into the front doors of the hospital with a small smile on her face while being greeted by some nurses and doctors who recognized her. Today had been the first night in a week Nicole was able to go home and take an actual shower without worrying about leaving Waverly. Wynonna threatened Nicole with a shot from Peacemaker if something happened to Waverly due to the stress of Nicole going home. So Nicole endured back pain, cold five-minute showers, and flavorless hospital food for Waverly._

_Holding the small box in one hand, a bouquet of flowers in her elbow, and a cup of coffee in the other hand, Nicole managed to open the door to Waverly's room without dropping anything. The smile on her lips grew larger and softer when Nicole turned towards Waverly laying in the bed on her side, eyes closed in a comfortable sleep. Waverly had been wearing the pair of pajamas Wynonna bought her since the doctors said healing works better with comfortable clothing and surroundings._

_Nicole silently walked to the table at the end of the bed before setting the items in her arms down, not wanting to wake the youngest Earp. Ever since that night, Waverly had issues falling and staying asleep. In order for Waverly to get a decent amount of sleep, either Nicole would have to hold her hand until she drifted off or the doctors would have to give her something to make her sleepy. On the nights Nicole held Waverly's hand, she usually fell asleep herself sitting in a chair next to the bed, head resting on her arm._

_"Don't touch me... Champ please stop... No! Get off me!" Nicole watched in shock as Waverly started talking in her sleep, fighting against the nightmare. Once Nicole finally realized what had been happening, she moved quickly to the side of the bed before reaching out to comfort Waverly._

_"Waverly, baby, wake up. It is just a dream. Champ is not here. Just focus on me baby, please," Nicole spoke softly as she sat on the edge of the bed, holding a shaking Waverly close. Although she didn't wake up immediately, Waverly stopped shaking slowly as Nicole continued to reassure her safety. Ten minutes passed by as Waverly continued to sleep when Nicole gently placed a kiss in Waverly's hair._

_"You know, the feeling of those lips any where on me is enough to wake me up," Waverly said with a smirk on her face. Sitting up, Waverly moved her hand to caress the back of Nicole's neck as she moved closer, their foreheads touching gently. Nicole held her eyes closed and focused her hearing on the sound of Waverly's heartbeat and the air going in / out of her lungs. "Nicole... I... I'm so sorry about everything... It's just, you know about Willa and Daddy, but what Champ did to me..."_

_"Wait a minute Waverly... What did Champ do to you?" Nicole asked, interrupting the younger Earp with great concern and worry in her voice. The two had talked greatly about how Waverly broke after losing her sister and her father. But whenever they started going towards the topic of Waverly's relationship with Champ, Waverly either changed the subject or shut down completely. Nicole didn't want to push Waverly past her comfort zone, knowing they would talk about it when Waverly was ready: however, Nicole didn't know if she had been ready to hear the truth._

_Before another moment passed filled with Waverly being hesitant, tears began falling down her face as she told Nicole about the night Champ took one of the most important things away from her. Waverly held onto Nicole's shirt extremely tight as she told the story of the party, how Champ spiked her drink and ended up raping her in his truck. She broke down as she explained the memories of how it happened started returning to her all of a sudden, when she couldn't remember any of it the day after it happened._

_"I ran home from school that day without telling any one. I felt utterly disgusted with myself, as if there was something on me I couldn't get off. Once I got home, I did what I thought would be best for everyone... What I promised not to do again until recently," Waverly took a moment to catch her breath and put her thoughts together so she could understand them. Nicole sat with Waverly in her arms, burning holes into the wall with the stare of her eyes, thinking of twenty different ways to murder Champ without anyone knowing._

_"When I see Champ again I swear-"_

_"Don't. He isn't worth risking your job," Waverly said quietly into Nicole's side. "Plus, Wynonna already beat the shit out of him. She was the one... who found me in the bath tub that day. I remember being in and out of consciousness, hearing her screams for me to wake up... Once I finally came to in the hospital, I told her everything in private, begging her not to press charges against him. I was afraid of what the town would say if they found out the truth, how everyone would look at me. So instead of doing things legally, Wynonna went up to Champ in the middle of school later that month and beat the shit out of him. Champ needed stitches and had a minor concussion when they were finally able to pull Wynonna away."_

Nicole shook her head, trying to break her thoughts as she reached her destination. After turning off her car, Nicole stepped out and just stared at the house on the Earp Homestead. This place, with all of its flaws and hidden perfections, started feeling like a safe place to call home. Of course, the memories still flooded Nicole's mind every now and then, but it didn't bother her as much. As long as Nicole could look into Waverly's eyes at least once a day, feel the other girl against her lips, and hear her voice, she would be okay.

"Hey Haughtstuff! Waverly is up in her room taking a nap. Be careful with my baby girl," Wynonna said as she walked past Nicole to her truck. "She will probably want something to eat when she wakes up, so feel free to use the kitchen. Just clean up after yourself!" Nicole understood what Wynonna had been implying with the food, as getting Waverly to eat some days had been a challenging battle. The doctors said her stomach only suffered from a couple of scars, meaning she could eat but it might hurt every now and then.

Nodding her head, Nicole walked inside the house before silently closing the door and taking off her shoes. She wanted to reduce the amount of noise she makes as much as possible to avoid waking up Waverly. Nicole walked into the kitchen and grabbed a pot from one cupboard before grabbing a can of tomato soup from the other. _Grilled cheese and tomato soup is really hard to pass up on, especially when it is the Haught-Family recipe. So hopefully Waverly will eat it._

Nicole grabbed the rest of the supplies she would need in order to make the food before putting her earbuds in; listening to music while cooking always make the food taste good. Hitting shuffle on her playlist, Nicole shut out the rest of the world, intently focusing on the lyrics in her ears and the cooking food in front of her. However, after ten minutes passed (filled with waiting for the soup to warm up on the stove), Nicole felt two comforting arms wrap gently around her stomach.

"Jesus Waverly!" Nicole said as she jumped slightly. "You should be happy I knew it was you. Otherwise you might have ended up with hot tomato soup all over you," Nicole continued before turning around to meet Waverly's eyes. Her heart skipped a beat and her breath stopped in her throat for a moment due to the sight of Waverly. Her hair had still been a mess from the nap while her eyes showed signs of sleep building up in the corners. However, what made Nicole nervous the most, was Waverly's gorgeous smile.

"I am just happy that you are here with me," Waverly replied softly as her hands reached up to caress Nicole's face. Nicole leaned into the embrace, enjoying the Waverly's touch against her skin. "I love you Nicole Haught."

"I love you too Waverly Earp."


End file.
